For example, maybe your sibling is a lot younger than you and still needs extra support, or maybe they just need more help with certain things than you do. It’s also possible that your parents aren’t aware that they are treating you differently, or that you feel this way.
Work on your hobbies. Read, dance, write, paint, play an instrument, or play sports. Spend time with your friends. Talk on the phone, text, and IM. Get outdoors. Taking a walk or hike, or exploring your town, can be fun.
Don’t be afraid to be seen crying by your parents or siblings. Crying not only makes you feel better, it also brings you closer to the people you love. [4] X Research source It may help them understand that you’re having a hard time, too.
You might be punished for acting out. This could mean being sent to your room, or being grounded, or losing cell phone privileges. Instead of getting attention, you’ll only end up isolating yourself from your parents and friends.
Your sibling can be someone to turn to if you need emotional support; if you’re supportive of them, they’ll be more likely to support you when you need it. [6] X Research source
Tell your parents that you don’t want your sibling(s) to be present. This will ensure that your parents focus on you during your talk. It will also prevent your sibling’s feelings from being hurt.
Instead of saying, “You never spend time with me! You just don’t care about me as much as Jayden!” try something like, “I feel really sad that I don’t get to spend as much time with you as Jayden does. ” You might say something like, “I know that because Kate is autistic, you need to spend lots of time with her. Sometimes, I feel left out. I want to spend time with you, but it always seems like you’re busy. "
Try to say things like, “I’m sad because I feel like I’ve been forgotten about. ” Or, “I feel lonely; I wish you would spend more time with me. ” Work with them to find ways to make it easier. They might have some ideas about how you can get more time with them.
Be specific about what you want to do with them. Ask them if they will go for a walk with you, sing with you, do your hair, or toss around a football in the yard. If they say no, it doesn’t mean they are rejecting you. They might be too busy. Schedule a time that works for you and them.
Kids with disabilities (e. g. autism, ADHD, Down Syndrome) need extra support. Your sibling has a hard time with many things, and they’ll spend a lot of their childhood playing “catch up. “[8] X Research source Illness or personal crises may mean that a sibling needs extra help. For example, if your sibling is having a major depressive episode, or their best friend died, they’ll need a lot of emotional support. Consider behavioral issues. If your sibling is acting out, your parents will spend more time trying to make them stop.
Try making explicit deals with them. This way, you can plan for time with them for certain. Say something like “If I handle the laundry today, would you have time to teach me about baseball?” Helping makes the chores go more quickly, and your parents will have more time on their hands. Ask if they will spend that extra time with you.
If they are busy now, ask when might be a good time later. Even if they’re not sure yet, they’re likely to remember this and try to make time later on. Try joining them when they are doing a chore. For example, you could help them fold laundry or make dinner. See if you can make plans, such as taking morning walks or playing a game together every weekend.
Building a relationship with someone other than your parents can help you develop interpersonal skills, and raise your self-esteem and self-confidence. [9] X Research source
For example, if you love to sing, you might join a youth choir at your school or a cultural center in your area. If you’re more athletic, sign up a team sport like soccer or softball.
Making new friends can feel empowering, so don’t be afraid to step outside your comfort zone to meet new people.
You don’t know how to cope with your feelings. You feel like acting out, or hurting yourself, to get attention (for example, causing trouble at school). You feel like hiding from your friends and family. You feel tired, and find it hard to enjoy anything. Your parents aren’t meeting your basic needs (food, water, shelter), or they are being very mean to you (humiliating, name-calling, etc. ).
