If you are feeling upset by something he did or said, consider visiting your guidance counselor to discuss what happened. Not only will this give you someone you can trust to talk about it, they may also talk to the boy directly, informing him of the consequences of such behavior.
Try to approach him when he is by himself, if he is with a group of friends, he is more likely to respond defensively. If you think he doesn’t realize his behavior is wrong, you can try starting out with a friendly, but firm tone of voice. Don’t walk up to him and start yelling accusations, as it will make him less likely to listen, and more likely to become defensive. State clearly what he has said/done that has bothered you. For example, if he constantly points out that you have big boobs, you can say something like, “When you talk about my boobs, it makes me feel very uncomfortable, and you don’t have the right to talk to me like that. ” Hopefully, at this point, he will realize you mean business, and promise to stop (don’t worry if he looks or acts annoyed, he is probably just embarrassed). However, if he says he’ll do whatever he wants, and continues like that, tell him you will report him to the principal (or to your boss) for sexually harassing you if he says anything else.
For example, if your co-worker or classmate says something inappropriate to you, you can respond by firmly, but politely saying, “I feel that what you said is inappropriate, and I would appreciate it if, in the future, you would avoid such comments. ” If you catch someone staring at your breasts while you are talking to them, simply stop talking until they realize you have stopped, and look at your face to see why, then begin talking again as if nothing happened. More than likely, they’ll get the hint.
If the person you tell doesn’t seem to take you seriously, don’t be afraid to tell someone else. For example, if you have told a teacher, and the teacher responds by telling you to relax and take a joke, then go to your guidance counselor, vice principal, or principal. If you are at work, start by telling your immediate supervisor, and keep moving up the chain of command until someone takes you seriously. If it seems that no one in your work or school will take you seriously, you may need to go to the police. If you have to tell more than one person because you aren’t being taken seriously, be sure to report the authoritative person who didn’t take you seriously in the first place. If they think sexual harassment is a laughing matter, then they also need to be taught about why it is a very serious issue. If you are a child or a teen, make sure to tell your parents what is going on. It is true that reporting a person to human resources or a teacher might cause awkwardness in the office or classroom, especially if it somehow gets out. However, it is better that the person bothering you truly understands what he has done, and that you can go to work or school each day without fearing what will be said to you.
This is especially true if you feel that the person may physically assault you. In this case, the goal should be to get out of the situation as quickly as possible. Make your way to a very public space where there are lots of people around. If the person is threatening you, call the authorities immediately to tell them what is going on.
For example, you can simply say, “Don’t talk about my body that way. That’s harassment. ” If they persist, take your phone out of your bag or pocket, and tell them that you will call the police if they continue. Don’t be meek, be firm and confident.
For example, if a boy wearing a bright green shirt says, “Hey! You have a nice rack!” Look him in the eye, and loudly say, “You in the green shirt! Stop talking about my body! That’s harassment!” If you say it loudly enough, it will draw the attention of others around you, and he will almost definitely leave you alone. If you are alone, and no one is around, pointing something out about that person that is unique may still help you to identify him later, if necessary, and it will show him that you’ve had a good look at him, so he isn’t completely anonymous.
Be firm and confident during this discussion. You need him to understand that you are really serious about what you are saying. [10] X Research source
Don’t expect him to read your mind. If you never say anything, he simply may not realize that what he is saying is bothering you. You can also point out that no woman deserves to be treated like an object. Many males have seen other women in their life harassed by fathers, grandfathers, brothers, or friends, so it is important to try to put an end to the cycle. [11] X Research source
Over time, it may also help him understand that you will not tolerate or encourage these remarks in any way. Understand, though, that it is important to address the behavior. People should not be allowed to get away with treating women (or boys for that matter) like objects.
This may mean breaking up with him if he is your boyfriend, or ceasing contact if it is just a friend. If it is your husband or partner, and you don’t want to give up on the relationship, consider suggesting couple’s counselling. Having someone to help guide you and your husband through the reasons why you don’t want your body to be objectified may make it more clear for him.
