Talking with your parents or other siblings may help you discover if your sibling felt this way about you. They may be able to give you the details and information that no one else can.
Those closest to you and who are familiar with the relationship may be able to give you insight as to whether or not you made it seem that the bullying was acceptable. Having this outside point of view that is removed from the situation is often what you need to find the truth. [1] X Research source
You could say, “I feel like you criticize me and put me down more often than not. Can you tell me why you do this? I don’t want to start an argument, but I would really like to know what happened to cause this behavior. ” Being honest with them may encourage them to open up to you. If you want your sibling to be honest with you, then make sure that you do things to facilitate honesty, such as by responding calmly, listening, and trying to understand them.
If possible, find a book that is written by a current or former bully. Even better, try to find someone in your life who used to be a bully but has changed their ways. Ask them questions about why they chose to exhibit that type of behavior and you may get a better idea of how you can fix your relationship. [2] X Research source
Looking your bully in the eye and saying, “Excuse me?” when they say something rude is a way to catch their attention. This simple, but effective, action may be enough to stop them from continuing their attack. Doing this also shows that you acknowledge the offensive action and aren’t willing to let it happen. [3] X Research source
For example, you could say, “When you put me down, it really hurts my feelings. I would appreciate it if you could stop saying negative comments to me. ” They may become upset at first, but hopefully after they think about it, they will understand and sympathize with how you feel and stop. [4] X Research source Keep in mind that this does not have to be a long drawn-out conversation. Keep it brief and then move on. Allow your sibling some time to process what you have said.
For instance, if they tend to pick on you because of the career path you’ve chosen, you can say, “I do something I enjoy. I’m sorry you don’t like it, but this is what I’ve decided to do, and I’m going to keep doing it. ” Practice your response several times so that you are authoritative when it comes time to say it. [5] X Research source
To get them to go with you say, “It’s no secret that you and I don’t get along very well, but I would like to change that. I think if we went to a family counselor, we may be able to work through our issues and have a good relationship. ”
A quick Internet search can inform you of any assertiveness training classes in your area. If you aren’t able to find any locally, you may be able to find one online. [6] X Research source You can also work with a counselor to develop your assertiveness.
When you find yourself being self-defeating, recite a positive affirmation, such as “I welcome positive, uplifting relationships into my life” or “I try my best to be a great sibling. ”
Often, physical activities are just what you need to remove the stress from your body. You may find that meditation, yoga, running, or another type of exercise can help. The results you see may also improve your self-esteem in the process. [8] X Research source Taking good care of yourself in other ways, such as by eating healthy foods and maintaining good hygiene, may also help to improve your self-esteem and make it easier to withstand the bullying.
Removing your sibling from your life is a drastic step. Ensure you have thought through your decision and that this is what you really want to do before you make the move. This may mean that you cause tension with other family members, but if your life has become toxic because of this person, it may be exactly what you need to do. [9] X Research source If you do decide to go this route, it is best to do so with the guidance of a therapist who can help you to manage the family dynamic changes.
