Remember that anger is always rooted in someone’s pain. It’s not about you, even if the person is taking out their feelings on you. You are not responsible for diffusing their anger. If they are not willing to work toward calm, disengage as soon as possible. People tend to mimic the behavior of those around them. Keeping calm may help the other person to slow or stop their anger.
If you raise your voice, you’ll only fuel the person’s anger. Don’t encourage them to fight.
Create a connection with the person by acknowledging their anger instead. Say something like, “It seems like this is bothering you. Can we talk about it?” or “I want to understand how you feel and I think that would be easier if we could talk instead of yelling. " If you are in a public place, ask the person if there is somewhere you can go to work out the issue. If you feel nervous going on your own, ask someone along to act as a moderator and serve as your witness.
For instance, you might say something like, “So you’re hurt that no one told you about the change of plans ahead of time, is that right? You feel like no one wanted to include you. ”
Give the angry person plenty of space. This also gives you some protection if they do become violent.
If you don’t know how to leave a situation, make up an excuse. Say that you have to let your dog out or pick up your friend whose car broke down. If the other person is acting violent or threatening violence, leave as soon as is safe to do so. You don’t need to make excuses and stick around. Violence for self-defense, and to make an arrest as a police officer or when the person did something illegal (especially a felony) is justified. However, violence for anything else is never permissible and is considered illegal assault. Plus, you shouldn’t have to deal with the latter under any circumstances.
Get into the habit of noticing where the exits are everywhere you go.
For instance, if you are a nurse treating a patient who has a history of violence, it’s a good idea to ask one of your colleagues to step into the room with you.
Ask a friend to help you practice the techniques you learn.
If you think that any children are in a dangerous or abusive home situation, let the appropriate authorities know immediately. Younger kids can’t protect themselves, so they depend on adults to protect them. Don’t assume someone else will report a bad situation – report it yourself if you know something is wrong.
If you live with a partner or children, come up with an emergency plan together. Make sure everyone understands what to do to stay safe in a crisis.
For instance, if the person you’re dating has started yelling at you over minor issues, proceed with caution – anger management problems can often escalate into violence.
According to the NCADD, 40% of violent crimes involve alcohol use.
Anger is the precursor to violence. If you notice someone getting angry, leave or take action right away to calm them down. Pay attention to their body language. Dilated pupils, sweating, a visible pulse in the neck or temples, tight shoulders, clenched fists, a blading stance, pacing, and nervous twitching can all be signs that a person is about to become violent. [15] X Research source
