Stay out of earshot. Even if you change locations, you may still be able to hear something infuriating. Be sure to move into a room where his voice will be muffled or close the door of the room he is in. If it is a family member that you will see every day like your sibling, schedule yourself to limit your time with him. For example, join extra-curricular activities after school so you won’t have to be at dinner with your rude younger brother.
For example, steer clear of her political views and talk about topics that you know she enjoys and remains positive about like her recent home improvements. Say something like, “That is a difficult issue that I’d like to read more about before I place my vote. Speaking of reading, I read an article on how to build a really great deck. How long did it take you to build yours?” If it is a family member that you have to interact with every day, keep cordial. Talk about common interests or dislikes to form a bond.
For example, ask for help with your car, home renovation tips, or playing sports with the kids. Be careful not to include him in an activity where he could offend more people. If you ask him to participate in an activity with a lot of social interaction, you could be fueling a volatile situation. Keep busy around the house or take up a new hobby to stay away from any rude siblings. Better yet, fuel the interest or support the hobby of your rude family member. For example, if your rude brother likes a certain type of book or video game, buy him several of that genre to keep her occupied.
Recognizing how you feel will help you tailor a solution to the problem.
Begin with a flow chart or brainstorm your thoughts and emotions. Practice and rehearse what you will say. Whether you talk in front of a mirror or go over your talking points with other family members, get comfortable speaking about this issue and being in a hostile scenario.
Take a deep breath before and during the confrontation. Keep calm when delivering news that the person may see as accusatory. Open body language and a friendly demeanor can help defuse their defensiveness. [1] X Research source Remember people who are rude may be in denial or become defensive. Use “I-statements”, to express how you feel rather than starting a statement with “you”. Don’t place blame but rather state clearly how you feel while listening to what they have to say.
For example, if you are confronting your younger brother, say something similar to, “I don’t appreciate your snarky and sarcastic comments. There’s a time and place for jokes. It’s fine to joke around with your friends, or with me when we are watching tv, but please don’t say things that will upset mom and dad. Don’t say things at the dinner table, especially after they’ve both had a long day. "
Scheduling around her can ensure that she doesn’t feel blindsided or rushed for a response. Scheduling shows that you are considerate of her time and that you have thought about this conversation enough to prioritize it.
Don’t broach difficult topics by becoming rude yourself. For example, if she often references how much you make compared to her, let her know that you know how hard it’s been for her and her family. Offer advice and let her know that you know where she’s coming from with an example of how you had to move up to get to where you are financially. Say something like, “Am I misreading you? You’re coming off very rude. Please let me know if I’m misinterpreting what you’re saying or let me know why you’re upset. I’m here to listen and make sure I understand what you’re saying. "
For example, he may have a closer relationship with his cousin than his brother or a closer relationship with his grandfather than his father. Have someone he respects speak with him.
Some family members won’t want to create unnecessary drama. Make sure you have the approval of the majority of your family.
Don’t use up valuable emotional and mental resources by dwelling on what you can’t control. Focus on what makes you happy about your family and look to strengthen these bonds and enjoy the moments you have with them.
