For example, you may encourage your significant other to join a fitness program or recreational sports team, get involved with a volunteer organization or join a community theater. You may suggest they take an art or photography class, or join a club. Be supportive and positive about your significant other’s pursuit of a new activity. Make it a positive thing. For example, you might try saying something like, “I think it is so cool that you are learning how to decorate cakes! That’s a really great skill to have. ” If your significant other only likes what you like, then help them find their own interests. Ask them what they like, what they did before you got together, and what have they always wanted to learn. Refrain from saying things like, “We need some space” or “This is a good way for me to find some friends who aren’t you. ”
For example, when you’re out with your friends, it might be frustrating for your significant other to text you non-stop. Instead, set a limit about number of texts and phone calls you both make to each other when you are with other people, such as just checking in with each other once per night. There’s nothing wrong with texting or calling to let your significant other know you have changed plans or will be coming home later, but neither of you should obsessively text the other.
For example, you can go to the grocery store or to wash your car alone. You can go workout or go to work in the yard without your significant other. You can even watch television or movies alone.
Tell them that this is a good time for them to do something on their own as well, and that you are excited about hearing about what they did in their personal time.
Encourage your partner to make friends. Tell them that you think meeting new people and going out with others is a good thing for them.
Try initiating the conversation by saying something like, “I feel like we are spending a little too much time together and I think I need more space. Can we discuss this?” Try to focus on the future and be specific about what you would like to see change. For example, you might say something like, “I think it would be good for us to have one evening apart every week. You can spend time alone with your friends and I will spend some time with my friends. ”
Ask your partner an open-ended question about what he or she thinks about what you just shared. [2] X Research source For example, try saying something like, “What do you think about this?” Make sure that you remove all distractions before you start talking so you can give your significant other your full attention. Put away your phone, turn off the TV, shut down your computer, and choose a quiet time and place to talk. While your significant other is talking, face them and make eye contact. You can also show that you are listening by nodding and using neutral statements, such as “yes,” “I see,” and “go on. ”[3] X Research source
Explain that you want to do things for yourself, like work out, enjoy a hobby, or relax. Tell them that you may need half an hour to decompress after work alone, or you may want to have a night out with your friends. It is good to be specific about what your needs are so that your significant other will know what to expect. Try to explain your needs to your significant other by saying something like, “I understand that you love spending time with me, but I am a different person with different needs. I need more time to myself to get certain things done. ” Avoid waiting until you are angry and frustrated to deal with this. That can lead to fights and words that you may not mean.
Being reliable, doing what you say you’re going to do, and being open and honest are cornerstones of building trust in a relationship. Help your partner know you care by being someone they can count on. Don’t lie to your partner, even if you are trying to spare their feelings. If you lie and your partner finds out, it may make them more insecure and make the more needy. Be there for your partner. Your significant other may be needy due to past relationships, mental health issues, or other reasons. Don’t leave your partner or ignore their needs. Establishing boundaries and space for the two of you doesn’t mean you should abandon your partner. Make sure they know you care.
Goals can be about anything. Talk about where you want to be in one, two, five, or even twenty years. For example, your goals might be to take a vacation together to an exotic location combined with spending one night a week doing an activity alone or with other people.
For example, if your partner gets upset if you don’t answer texts, try explaining why you do this sometimes. For example, you might say something like, “I can’t always check my phone at work. I get busy and I can’t respond to your texts right away, so it is better to text me after work or wait for me to text you. ” Being able to acknowledge and address the issues can bring awareness so you both can work together to eliminate the behaviors.
For example, you may want to end the relationship if your significant other refuses to get help or acknowledge the problem. You may decide to end the relationship if your partner has become controlling. Another reason you may want to end the relationship is because your significant other has gotten physically, emotionally, or verbally abusive.
Don’t just write off your significant other as crazy or obsessive. There may be a reason for their behavior that you can find out and then work on fixing.
There are many ways to manage and treat anxiety and phobias. Suggest that your significant other see a therapist or psychologist. Psychotherapy, such as talk therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy, can help reduce anxiety symptoms. Relaxation techniques, like deep breathing and meditation, can help reduce anxiety symptoms. Regular exercise, like walking or yoga, also helps manage the disorder.
The counselor may point out problems on both sides, not just on your significant other. A counselor can help you find healthy ways to work through your issues.
Feeling like they need to be with you always, that they’re not good enough, or feeling insecure may stem from a lack of self-confidence. Encourage your significant other to focus on themselves instead of you. They need to find their own interests and hobbies. Help your significant other realize their good qualities. Encourage them to start seeing themselves as a separate, independent person outside of you. Your significant other may need to get help from a therapist. A severe lack of self-esteem is a problem that may take months or even years to remedy.
