On your first date, you can say something like: “I’ve had a really fun time, and I’d like to keep seeing you. I’d like you to know that I’m also dating a few other people right now. Is that something you’re comfortable with?” Be understanding and gracious if a guy doesn’t want to continue seeing you. It’s his right to decide what kind of relationship he wants to be in.
Don’t treat your dates like they’re part of a competition with you as the ringleader. You’re all people getting to know each other, and you should avoid playing one guy off the other.
If he asks you a question that makes you feel uncomfortable, you can say something like: “I’m not really comfortable answering that. I understand if that means you want to stop seeing each other. ”
To end it with someone, say something like: “I’ve had fun seeing you over the past few weeks, but I don’t think we’re the best fit romantically. I’m going to keep seeing other people and going on new dates, and I hope you do too. ”
It’s unfair to have expectations for your dates that you won’t follow, so don’t expect many guys to be willing to exclusively date you while you’re also dating other men.
For example, maybe you want to date multiple guys because you just got out of a long relationship, and you’re just looking for something casual right now. That’s a different kind of dating than looking for the guy you want to marry. Say something like: “I’m just hoping to keep things casual with the guys I date right now, and I’m not really interested in something long term. Is that ok with you?”
For example, you went on two dates last weekend. One guy took the time to ask you about your day and really listened to the answers, and the other guy didn’t ask you one question all night. Turns out you like good listeners!
While you shouldn’t stick with someone who’s making you unhappy no matter what, you may find that you’re willing to let go faster when you’re dating multiple guys.
If you want to have sex with more than one partner, you need to be up front with all the people you’re having sex with. This is important for everyone’s mental and physical health. Always practice safe sex by protecting against both STIs and unwanted pregnancies. While birth control options like the pill or an IUD can prevent pregnancy, you need to make sure the guys wear condoms to protect yourself against sexually-transmitted infections. Talk to your doctor or a local women’s clinic for more information or assistance.
You can say something like: “Hey Tim, I know we’ve seen each other a few times, and I just wanted to check in and see where things stand. I’m still seeing other people. Are you?”
It’s a good idea to get in touch with the guy you’re most interested in before you tell the other guys you want to stop seeing them. Otherwise, you could find yourself totally date-less! To ask someone if they’re ready for an exclusive relationship, say something like: “Hey Patrick, I’ve really enjoyed the time we’ve spent together, and I’d like to keep seeing you. I also don’t want to date anyone else. How do you feel about us?” To stop seeing other people, say: “Hey! I’ve had a lot of fun dating, but I’m going to start looking for a long-term thing, and I don’t think we’re right together in that way. ”
