If you don’t know them very well, try to approach them when they are by themselves, and seem relaxed.
If you aren’t able to draw them out of their shell right away, don’t worry. It takes time and perseverance to date an introvert. [2] X Research source
Maintain eye contact for slightly longer than you would normally, or try catching their eye in a group conversation when neither of you is speaking. Briefly touch their upper arm or knee while you are in one-on-one conversations. Graze their shoulder or upper back with your hand when you approach them in a crowded place. [4] X Research source
Find out what they like to do, or where they hang out. If you have friends in common, ask them. Don’t pretend to be interested in something just because they are.
Watching a movie is a good example of this. You can spend quality time together without stressing your introvert. When the movie is over, discuss it at their leisure.
Don’t interrupt their alone time. Instead, trust that they will come back when they are ready.
If you notice your introvert making less eye contact, gazing into the distance, or not responding in group discussions, ask them if they are uncomfortable or want a break.
Some introverts are animated with certain people that they know, while others will seem consistently aloof. If someone repeatedly answers your questions with a simple “yes” or “no,” take it as a cue to give them some space.
A small, coy smile is a positive indicator. A small, forced smile may be a sign to back off. If their arms are folded across their chest, they may not be in the mood to talk to anyone. If they adjust their posture or position to mirror yours, it means that they are focused on you and feeling engaged. [13] X Research source
Try: “I really like the knit in your sweater—is it Gaelic?” instead of: “I could spend a thousand hours staring into your ravishing eyes. ”
Don’t be afraid to range over a topic or two, but remember that they will open up more if you offer a specific and meaningful conversation starter.
