Create a diversion by dropping a book or talking right at the moment that you fart. [1] X Research source Move in your chair to create noise from your chair moving across the floor or from the cushions in the chair. You could also cough at the same time that you fart. This won’t hide the smell, but it will help camouflage the sound, which helps identify you as the culprit.
Rather than waiting for someone else to notice it, notice it first. Point it out, and look at the person next to you and point out that they just farted. Or, better yet, blame someone who doesn’t know you’re blaming them. The kid in the chair ahead of you who hasn’t smelled the fart or heard it or the teacher who just walked past. It’s less suspicious if you bring it up than if you ignore it. Who should you blame? If you’re struggling for a suspect, just pick the person closest to you.
Or make an excuse and go to the restroom or your locker when you sense that a fart is coming on. Just don’t stand around a group of people. Try to go to the bathroom right before class. You will need to be in a group of at least three people for people to not be sure where to put the blame. So, if you’re in a large group, you might get away with it. If you’re with one or two people, lag behind or walk away.
The worst place to fart is in a small and enclosed space, such as an elevator. You might not be able to hold it for long, but it’s a good idea to hold it at least long enough for the elevator doors to open. If you’re stuck in a classroom, you could ask to go to the bathroom, but that will give away that you did it if you’ve already farted, so better to try a diversionary tactic in that case.
The goal of the Flatulence Deodorizer is to camouflage the bad smells that might come out of your body. [2] X Research source You wear the deodorizer like you would a sanitary napkin, but it’s scented. The same company produces scented pillows.
Even if you’re in a school classroom, you might be able to subtly rub some perfume on your wrists. Buy a small roll-on perfume stick you can keep in your purse. Too much perfume doesn’t smell very good, either, but it’s a lot better than people smelling your farts.
However, if you’re able, lighting a match will cover up a fart smell. The reason is that the smell from a fart comes from hydrogen sulfur. [3] X Research source When you light a match, you’re igniting phosphorus. This will ignite the sulfur in the air, and mask it.
Carbonated drinks, including soda and water, are known to cause more stomach gas. Chewing gum also builds up the amount of gas you might have to pass. Holding in gas is not a good idea, either, as it can cause stomach aches. It’s hard to hold farts in for a very long time anyway, so just avoid ingesting things that will cause gas.
Beans, lentils, and root vegetables like onions, scallions, and garlic, will cause more farting. Avoid them. Dairy products and green vegetables, such as sprouts, cabbage, and broccoli, are also going to create more gas inside of you. Dairy products will especially cause flatulence in people who are lactose intolerant.
Bean-O is an enzyme supplement that breaks down carbohydrates. It’s going to help reduce your gas if it’s caused by certain foods like beans or broccoli. [4] X Research source Mylanta Gas, Maalox Anti-Gas and other similar products reduce intestinal discomfort by breaking up gas bubbles. Lactase supplements will help you with gas that is caused by intolerance to dairy.
If it is a big one, ask to go to the bathroom because there is no way to hide it. To do this raise your hand, tell the teacher it is an emergency, and go to the hallway. Once in the hallway let it rip (unless people are in the hallway), then go to the bathroom. If you know it will not be as noticeable, then you are in the clear. Just cough while executing the dirty deed, and you will be fine. But if you feel people will still notice, stand up and sharpen your pencil because it makes a lot of noise. Thus, make the fart inaudible.
