Keep in mind that your grief will not suddenly disappear one day. You may start to have more good days as your emotions resolve over time, but you may also go back and forth between good days and bad days.
Write down your feelings on a piece of paper, then burn it or otherwise destroy it. Imagine that the burning paper symbolizes the process of releasing your emotional burden. Keep a journal to vent your feelings of grief and read your past entries to track your progress. Try not to dwell on the feelings you’ve expressed, but focus on the progress you’ve made through grief’s stages.
Imagine letting go of your feelings of worry, sadness, or frustration as you squeeze your breath out. When you inhale, envision yourself filling up with calmness, hope, and strength. Set aside about 20 minutes to do your breathing exercises free of any distractions. Wear loose clothing that won’t restrict your breathing. Do your exercises daily, or whenever you feel anxious or depressed.
Try using the online search tools at Good Therapy (http://www. goodtherapy. org/find-therapist. html) or Psychology Today (https://therapists. psychologytoday. com/rms/). Search online for “sports psychologist” or “dance psychologist” near your location. Specialists in these areas, including psychologists who were former dancers or athletes, are becoming more common. You can also try asking your team or dance company for a referral to a mental health professional who has experience with dancers or athletes.
Well-meaning friends may offer to take you out drinking to get your mind off of things. However, this is not a healthy way to cope. You might want to tell friends that you are avoiding alcohol for a while to ensure that you cope with your emotions in a healthy way. Seek counseling if you have any issues with self-medicating or addiction.
Reach out to someone when you need to, whether it’s a family member, old teammate, or your counselor. You could call a friend and say, “My confidence level is really low today, and I could really use a friend. I know I want to discover a new sense of purpose, but I don’t even know where to start. Do you have time to grab a coffee or just chat on the phone for a bit?” If you want to talk about your feelings, you should. However, just spending time with loved ones can comfort you and remind you that you are connected to other people. Keep in mind that it is okay if you don’t feel like spending as much time with people, but it is a good idea to continue to maintain some social involvement. Try to spend time with friends and family as you normally would, even if you have to set a time limit or have some quiet time after to recover. Try to find a support network that cares about you for who you are as a person, not just those who value you for your athletic abilities. Really invest in those relationships.
Instead of thinking that there are right and wrong ways of coping, remember that everyone copes differently. Think of coping as an open process. Accept that you might have setbacks and bad days, but try not to let them define you.
You could list your core values, like honesty, sense of duty, or humor. You could write down your relationships with other people, like being a parent, son or daughter, sibling, or best friend. List your other talents or hobbies, like being great at board games, gardening, bike riding, or music. Carry this list with you and read over it regularly, especially when you start to feel down. You can also post it somewhere that you will see it often, such as on your computer monitor or on a mirror.
Think of all the experiences your life has in store for you: marriage (if you aren’t already), children, grandchildren, embarking on a new career, vacations, and making a difference in someone else’s life.
If you need help tailoring the best diet, use an app or resource to create a personalized meal plan, like the US Department of Agriculture’s Super Tracker: https://www. supertracker. usda. gov/. Anxiety, along with other moods like sadness, can be physically demanding, so taking in enough nutrients is important for both your body and your mind.
Go for jogs and brisk walks, ride your bike, or go to the gym. Try mixing things up by starting a new exercise. For instance, if you never swam much before, start swimming laps every morning. If it is enjoyable for you to continue the exercise you used to do for your career, then you could try doing something similar, such as taking Zumba classes or salsa lessons if you were a dancer. However, if it is too painful for you right now, then it is okay to do something totally different.
Think of any cultural or religious traditions you were raised in, and explore ways of incorporating your tradition’s rituals into your life. You could go to a religious service every week, meditate daily, recite a poem or prayer at a certain time every day, or simply keep a daily journal.
You can also talk to other professionals who retired before you to find out what kinds of careers they pursued after retiring. In addition to teaching or coaching, you could consider options like: personal trainer or fitness instructor, sports or dance journalist, personal assistant, or open your own gym or studio. You could even go back for a psychology degree or counseling certification and help others get through the struggle of ending a sports or dance career.
If you live in the United States, find a nearby regional program on Athlete Career Transition website (http://actpathway. com/) or the career transitions for dancers section on the Actors Fund’s website (http://www. actorsfund. org/services-and-programs/career-transition-dancers). For locations outside of the US, search your national government’s website to check for state-funded programs. Do an online search for “career transition programs” or “career counseling” for dancers or athletes near your location.
