The process of checking in with someone focuses your mind on making progress. There is an opportunity to live up to an expectation, which can result in you feeling positive about yourself and your efforts. Consider asking the person to hold you to a check-in schedule. For example, one time per week you will report your progress to the person. It’s up to you to tell them what you need from them in terms of feedback.
Reach out to organizations in your local area to become a part of a worthwhile project. This might include visiting the elderly, helping at an animal shelter, or running fundraisers for a local theatre production company. The opportunities are out there. Visit the United Nations-sponsored website for resources linked to being a volunteer at www. worldvolunteer. org.
Consider participating in 15 minutes of meditation or yoga each day. [6] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source This can make you feel more in touch with your mind and body and more calm for the rest of the day.
The loss of someone may leave large gaps of time that used to be filled with fun activities. Focus on filling your schedule with as many activities as possible.
For example, if helping others, or animals brings you comfort, reach out to others to help instead of staying in your state of discomfort. Looking to others for support and rehearsing healthy responses to difficult situations are two forms of effective coping responses you can use. [9] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
Determine clear objectives. One objective may be identified by first keeping a log of how much time you spend ruminating about your issue. This will give you a baseline measure, after which you can state your objective to decrease your time. Self-monitoring leads to real change. [11] X Research source Pick a start date for your plan and start. Don’t delay the inevitable. Start as soon as possible. Recognize your growth and reward yourself. If you successfully meet your daily, weekly or monthly objectives, celebrate your accomplishments. Perhaps you could go to a movie, attend a sporting event or plant a tree in honor of someone you admire. Positive reinforcement will motivate you to continue with your plan. If a strategy just isn’t working for you, then stop using it. Find an alternative and plug it into your plan. Don’t look at it as a failure; instead look at it as a correction in the course toward your goal. Your new behaviors will build over time and become second nature to you. You can fade or lessen your strict adherence to the steps of your plan and maintain positive outcomes. [12] X Research source
Use guided imagery to help you visually imagine a calm place or circumstance. You can seek the help of a therapist for this or develop the skill on your own. Use biofeedback to lessen your fear and pain by lowering your heart rate and blood pressure. Use breathing exercises to quiet your fight-or-flight reactions, which are ignited by feelings of pain and fear, as well as reduce your stress and anxiety. [14] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
See things as they occur in a slower speed. This will allow you to diffuse your triggers and discern if a threat is real, and respond in a reasonable way. Challenge your thoughts and feelings about getting nervous in certain situations. If you get nervous when you go to a party where your friends are the only attendees, remind yourself that these people are your friends and they accept you for who you are. The use of positive self-talk will help diffuse your nerves. For example, if the pain makes you feel anxious or stressed tell yourself, “I am completely safe and I can relax and let go of the pain and tension in my body. "
Make a list of your troublesome thoughts, feelings and behaviors. This will help you understand the connection between your thoughts, feelings and behaviors and the pain that you feel. Then, you can see the areas of your life that are suffering and need attention. Ask yourself if you feel depressed, anxious, angry, stressed or lonely. Does it seem that you have little control in your life? Are you having problems with personal relationships? Do you have a hard time expressing your emotions and feelings?
Find a safe place and get comfortable. If your emotions come to the surface allow the tears to flow. Additional health benefits of crying include stress relief and enhancing communication because it can show what words cannot express. [18] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
You may not think that eating and sleeping regularly can make a difference when you’re in the throes of emotional pain, but it definitely can. A healthier you is stronger and can manage a struggle more effectively. Avoid things that tend to increase your stress levels. That could mean traffic jams, loud concerts, extra responsibilities at work, or spending time with a dramatic friend. Although you can’t get rid of all the stress you’re feeling, you can make an effort to minimize it.
Every individual experiences the grief process in an entirely different way. If you are in pain and feel the need to be alone for a while, make sure your friends and family members are aware. If not, they may worry about you. Consider saying something like, “I am struggling, but I am working through it. I hope you understand that it is going to take some time, and I’m not sure how long. I guess I am the only one who can figure that out. I just need some time to be alone for a while. ” If you spend too much time by yourself and are feeling lonely as a result, make sure to spend some time with others.
When you are relaxed your muscles loosen, blood pressure and heart rate drop, and your breathing slows and deepens, which can help with emotional pain. Participating in physical exercise will release endorphins into your bloodstream, which lessen pain and increase positive feelings. [25] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
Start by asking a few casual questions. Tell a fun fact or two about yourself, or make some funny observations. If you make more of an effort, you’ll be on your way to having more friends and feeling less pain. You may have more in common with people than you think. Once you spend time with them, you’ll see that you might really enjoy their company.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy is one of many types of therapies that are effective with emotional pain that causes depression, anxiety, and various disorders. [28] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source Group therapy is also effective when coupled with a problem-solving approach. [29] X Research source Groups may be focused specifically on recovery from trauma or loss, or can be formed to help with social and coping skills.
Family-based therapy has been found to be an effective first line treatment in some cases. [30] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source Inpatient treatment centers. You are required to check-in to the facility and remain there for a specific period of time. Outpatient therapy. You attend therapy at a clinic, but are able to stay in your home. Group therapy. You attend meetings with a group of other people suffering from emotional pain and discuss your issues together under the supervision of a therapist. Individual therapy. You attend one-on-one appointments with a trained therapist to explore your feelings, beliefs, and behaviors and build strategies for improvement.
Research shows that individuals suffering emotional pain due to PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) who engage in self-medicating behaviors are more likely to attempt suicide. [31] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source If at any time you have thoughts of suicide, contact a suicide prevention hotline immediately, such as the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline if you’re in the United States, which can be reached by calling or texting 988. If you are self-medicating, discuss this with a doctor, counselor or trusted family member to get the help you need. Find healthy alternatives to manage your pain, as noted in this article.
You can participate in online social gatherings and real life gatherings. Expand your interests into new areas. Perhaps you can volunteer for an educational program reading books to kids at youth centers or libraries. Fight your pain with activities that make you feel better. Groups form when people share similar interests. Research potential opportunities and join in.
Use your family and friends and groups to help you remain accountable. Use visualization techniques to train your brain to believe you will get past the emotional pain and discomfort. The thoughts you have during visualization exercises produce the same mental instructions for your brain as if you acted them out and can help you train your brain to react to the pain differently. [34] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
Education is a lifelong undertaking. (“I am still learning. " - Michelangelo, at age 85) If you are open to new experiences you will enhance your understanding of the world. Difficult times provide a new perspective to your life and its meaning. It is life’s equivalent to hitting the reset button. Motivation to do things in life can elude you when you need it the most. Participate in activities that help motivate you. For example, if you love the outdoors because it helps you feel alive and motivated, then make sure you get out as often as you can. It may sound silly, but smiling has been shown to improve your mood, and is contagious. Sharing a smile with the world is a surefire way to create happiness for yourself. [35] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source
Being grateful for the experience and what it brings to your life will improve your overall mental and physical health. [37] X Research source When you are healthy, you are better-equipped to manage the feelings associated with emotional struggles.
