To manage anger or frustration, go for a walk around the block. Do some light stretches. Or take several deep breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth.
You might say something like, “I feel helpless when your mother comes over and brings the kids candy. I have asked her not to, but she keeps doing it. ”
Stay focused on the common ground between you to avoid a rift. You should approach your in-law about the issue as a unified front. Keep the issues happening with your in-law separate from your relationship with your spouse. Don’t blame your spouse for their parent’s behavior.
For instance, you both agree that your mother-in-law needs to respect your parenting decisions whenever she’s in your home. Therefore, you might create a boundary stating that.
During a disagreement, request that your spouse lead the charge. Of course, you can take part in the discussion, just let them broach the subject with their family first before saying your part. Your in-laws will probably feel less attacked by your spouse.
Your spouse might say something like, “Dad, we’re not interested in having the children baptized. We want to wait until they’re older and let them decide on their religious beliefs. Please respect our decision. ”
For example, you might overlook the fact that your sister-in-law gave your children soda (which is typically off-limits) just once. However, if she lets your children watch violent or offensive movies, you might have a word with her about it.
For example, if your sister-in-law lets your children watch inappropriate movies again, you might set the consequence that she is no longer able to spend time with them if you or your spouse are not present.
Accept the fact that your in-laws are different from you. Keep in mind that your in-laws are probably also different from your spouse—just like you may differ from your parents. It’s okay to disagree.
Examples of coping strategies might include calling an unbiased friend to vent, getting some exercise, or doing soothing exercises like progressive muscle relaxation. You might also consider taking some time for yourself during their visit and letting your spouse spend time with them without you.
