The source of the annoyance will help you figure out what you need to do. If your friend is too clingy, you need to create space between the two of you. If your friend is being mean and hurtful towards you, you should let them know how you feel. If you cannot identify why you are so annoyed with your friend, you might need to do some self-evaluation. Have you changed or outgrown your friend? Try to think about what you’d like your friendship to look like. Is it currently up to your standards?[2] X Expert Source Christy Irvine, PhDLicensed Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 9 April 2021.
Make sure that other people are around when you hang out with your annoying friend. For example, make plans with some other friends and then invite the annoying friend to come along or eat lunch with a group of people instead of just you and your friend. If your friend invites you to go somewhere and you know it will only be the two of you, decline the offer or ask if you can bring someone else along.
If the person calls and/or texts too much, do not respond to them every single time. Only answer when you feel like it or really want to talk to them. [3] X Research source If you have to call them back, call them when you are about to do something else. This way you can keep the conversation short. For example, you could call and say, “Hey, I saw your missed call. I’m about to eat dinner with my family, what’s up?” Setting boundaries is a good, important thing to do in your friendship. [4] X Expert Source Christy Irvine, PhDLicensed Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 9 April 2021.
The person may eventually stop the behavior if you ignore them. For example, if your friend is always making fun of others to get laughs, stop laughing and do not respond at all when they make a comment. If other friends have noticed the annoying behaviors, all of you should stop responding. When you ignore the person, do not roll your eyes or make a face. [6] X Research source This is still a reaction to what the person is doing. You may also hurt your friend’s feelings if you are rude.
You may tell your friend, “I love being friends with you, but I think we should try to meet new people too. " If your friend tells you about an activity they did without you, tell them how great that is and you are proud of them. You can also suggest specific activities for your friend to do. Choose activities that your friend is interested in, but you are not interested in. For example, if your friend likes to draw but you do not, find an art class or art exhibit and tell your friend about it.
For example, your friend may joke with you a lot and it hurts your feelings. However, your friend thinks that it is all in good fun. Simply tell your friend, “Hey, it kind of hurts my feelings when you pick at me like that. Could you stop doing it so much?” Be as nice as possible when you talk to your friend. Write down or practice what you will say. Focus on how their behavior makes you feel instead of presenting your opinion as the ultimate truth. [10] X Expert Source Christy Irvine, PhDLicensed Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 9 April 2021.
If your friend is unwilling to change, you might need to change the nature of your friendship permanently. [11] X Research source For example, if your friend refuses to stop gossiping, you may need to set new boundaries for your friendship. Maybe you will not talk about certain topics with this friend from now on. Your friend could just be going through an annoying phase or be having some personal issues. For example, your friend could be trying to get more attention from you because they are having some family problems at home. It is important that you listen to the other person to get to the root of the problem.
For example, if your friend needs to stop gossiping, tell your friend that you will remind them to stop when you see them gossiping. You could even create a little hand signal to do when the two of you are around other people. This way you can tell your friend to stop without embarrassing them. If your friend is annoying because they are constantly complaining about something, volunteer to help your friend improve in that area. [12] X Research source Try to offer specific feedback instead of saying something really vague. [13] X Expert Source Christy Irvine, PhDLicensed Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 9 April 2021.
Friendships go through ups and downs and change over time. As long as both you and you are a friend are willing to work through your issues, you two can still be friends. You may need to have multiple conversations about your friendship throughout the process.
You and your friend are constantly arguing and can never seem to get along. Your friendship makes you feel bad about yourself or hurts your self-esteem. If you always feel uncomfortable or nervous around your friend.
When you decide to take a break, be clear about the purpose and the length of the break. You may say, “Hey, we have not been getting along lately. I think we should spend some time apart. We can talk about things in 2 weeks. " Use this time to think and journal about your friendship. Do you miss the person? Are you happier now that you are not spending time with them? What things need to change?
Be honest and respectful of the other person’s feeling when you talk to them. You may say, “I care about you a lot, but our friendship has changed. I am really sad about this, but I don’t think we should be friends anymore. "
