Talking with the loved ones directly will prevent future misunderstandings, so it’s important to hear what they have to say. For example, you could say, “I know you don’t get along with my fiancee, but is that what’s stopping you from attending our wedding?” Knowing the reason may also allow you to make compromises. For instance, maybe the person doesn’t want to go because they don’t want to see an ex-spouse. Offer to let them choose their own seat at the reception, or ask if they would be comfortable attending the ceremony and skipping the reception, etc.
For example, you might tell them, “I’ve always respected you and your opinion. Your refusal to come to my wedding makes me feel angry and unloved. "
For example, you might say, “My fiancee and I have been together a long time and we’d like to officially pledge our love for each other in front of our closest friends and family. We’d really like you to be there to support us. "
For example, if they refuse to come because there are religious differences, you might say, “I know the fact that my fiancee is of a different faith concerns you; however, we’ve discussed the effect our spirituality has on our relationship. We’d still love for you to attend. "
Remind yourself that you did your part by extending the invitation. This shows that you’ve made an effort for them to be a part of your life. It’s up to them to refuse or accept it.
If the loved ones refuse to attend therapy, consider going by yourself. Talking through your emotions can help you process your feelings so you can move on and enjoy your day. [8] X Expert Source Allison Broennimann, PhDClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 11 December 2020.
Share your feelings with your fiancee and let your fiancee help you work through them. For example, you might say, “I’m really upset that our loved ones won’t come to the wedding. " Talking through your emotions together will make you feel closer.
Remind yourself that you may have a better time at the wedding than if people who didn’t support you came to the wedding and made you uncomfortable. [11] X Research source
For example, you might say, “I know you and my mom don’t really get along, but it means a lot to me that you’re coming to my wedding. "
If your self-confidence is hurt, try taking a moment every day to write down three things you like about yourself. On top of that, you might write a few things that you are looking forward to at your wedding, such as cutting the cake with your new spouse. Try setting a limit on how long you can grieve. Tell yourself: “I can mourn the fact that my dad won’t be at my wedding and walking me down the aisle until Friday at 4pm. Then I will let go of it. "
For example, you might want to do something by yourself like go for a hike, shop, or see a movie. Or you could call a close friend and do something fun together.
For example, you might say, “I know you were planning on your loved ones being there for us, but remember that it’s our wedding and I’ll always be there for you. "
If you can, avoid creating a dramatic or hurtful situation. Instead, gently remind your fiancee that it’s alright to feel hurt, but they should avoid angry confrontations.
For example, you might call one of your fiancee’s close friends who lives far away and briefly explain the situation. Let the friend know that it would mean a lot to your fiancee for them to be at the wedding.
