Look for thoughts that make you feel sad or discouraged, such as: blaming or shaming yourself for things that are not your fault, interpreting simple mistakes as indicative of personal failings, or imagining small problems are bigger than they are (“making a mountain out of a molehill”). Notice if your negative thoughts fit common cognitive distortions, such as all-or-nothing thinking, overgeneralizations, jumping to conclusions, the fallacy of change, and so on. [2] X Research source
If you’re struggling with this, keep this one trick in mind: never say something to yourself that you wouldn’t say to someone else. [4] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source Remind yourself to stay positive and it may just become a habit.
Your vocabulary includes what you speak out loud to others, as well as how you talk to yourself, whether verbally or mentally.
When you do catch yourself using one of those words, immediately replace it in your thoughts with a less extreme term. “Terrible” can become “unfortunate” or “not as good as I had hoped. " “Disaster” can become “inconvenience” or “challenge. "
For example: Imagine your computer stopped working, forcing you to replace an internal component. While inconvenient, the experience also gave you the opportunity to learn a new skill or reaffirm an existing skill.
While you may feel silly verbalizing positive statements or affirmations, studies have shown that saying positive things out loud will actually make you more likely to believe what you’re saying. [10] X Research source This can make you happier and more focused if you’re vocalizing positive thoughts.
If you find yourself feeling stressed, take a short break and think of something other than the source of your stress.
You may find that exercise is actually a good way to distract your mind from negative thoughts. [12] X Research source Avoid smoking, excessive drinking, or any other substance habits that put strain on your body.
After making the changes, congratulate yourself on the improvement to your mood. Actively adjusting your mindset will make it easier to remove negative thoughts in the first place.
You might also consider writing down things you’re thankful for. In doing so, you’re more likely to begin seeing the positive in things. [13] X Research source
To find a therapist you trust, ask a friend who has sought counsel or therapy before. You can also get a referral from your doctor.
Make the appointment with an open mind. Hope that the counselor can help you. If not, you can always find a counselor that you feel more comfortable with.
Be sure to describe how these negative thoughts make you feel. Explain how often you experience them and what you usually do to deal with them.
Don’t get discouraged if you feel your time with a particular counselor was unproductive. You can seek out a different therapist until you find one that makes you feel comfortable.
