Separate your true deal-breakers from traits that might be annoying, but aren’t the end of the world. For instance, poor hygiene might be a true deal-breaker for you. On the other hand, you might decide you can live with a partner who likes to stay up late, even though you aren’t a night owl yourself.
For instance, you might decide your future partner needs to be trustworthy, kind, and emotionally stable. Take your own personality and values into consideration. Most people do best with a partner who is at least somewhat similar to them, and who shares their values.
For instance, if you love going hiking and camping on the weekends, you would probably want to seek out a partner who likes the outdoors.
If you must make a list, focus on just a few of the values or traits that are most important to you.
Expanding your social circle will give you the opportunity to meet more types of people.
If a romantic interest displays red-flag behaviors, there’s probably no reason to get to know them further. However, if you’re not sure whether you like someone or not, going on another date or two can help you figure out how you feel.
If you’re concerned about certain aspects of a developing relationship, talk to the other person. You may be able to come to a compromise. You may also save yourself some time by figuring out that the relationship isn’t going anywhere.
Consider that you might be happier single than you would with a poorly-matched partner.
For example, if finishing your graduate degree is important, you will need to convey this to your partner. Relationships require compromise, so you shouldn’t express these as if they are a list of ultimatums. However, your partner should be willing to have a discussion with you so that you can reach goals and priorities that align with both your needs.
You and your partner share common values and goals You have realistic expectations You both contribute to the relationship and are invested in its success You trust one another You respect one another’s differences You both maintain your own identities in the relationship You encourage and support one another’s growth You feel safe communicating your needs You honor one another’s friendships and family ties You spend quality time together often
Having a strong sense of self will help you recognize when you’re compatible with someone.
Being passionate about your own interests will make you happier, whether you’re single or not. It will also make you more interesting to other people. Be up-front about who you are. Authenticity is one of the best ways to find a compatible partner.
For instance, if you want a partner who is generous, work on becoming a more giving person yourself.
Question whether your partner lets you be who you are while still supporting your growth. For example, they shouldn’t be pushing you to be someone else, or discouraging you from making positive changes.
