You could tell your ex “I don’t think we should talk for a while,” or “I need some time alone. ” Try to be vague about how long the silence will last. The uncertainty will help push your ex to decide if they want to save this relationship. Don’t tell your ex you’re using the no contact rule. This method works best if they don’t know it’s temporary.
Whether you want to set an exact date to end on is up to you. But try to have an idea so you’re not waiting forever. The length of this period can change, too, depending on whether your ex reaches out or your own feelings change.
Avoid starting conversations with your ex. If they talk to you first, try to keep your response brief but polite. For example, if your ex asks how you’re doing, respond with “I’m doing alright, thanks for asking. It’s good to see you!” If you’re angry or cold towards them, they might think “good riddance,” which definitely won’t make them want to get back together. You can still follow these rules if you’re doing no contact but run into your ex in public.
Do your best to not respond to ex’s calls or texts that aren’t about having a serious conversation about the relationship. If you respond to their messages immediately, you risk making them think you’ll stay in their life even if you’re not together.
Spend time with friends and family, devote energy to your hobbies or career, or set new personal goals for yourself. Remember that the no contact rule is also meant to help you heal in the case that your ex doesn’t want to get back together. Distract yourself from post-breakup doom and gloom and rebuild your self-confidence.
Try making posts about fun things you’re doing to make your ex miss being a part of your exciting life. Do your best to stay in touch with mutual friends so they can report how you’re doing to your ex.
You don’t have to praise your ex. Just try to remain neutral or positive about how you’re feeling toward them. For example, if someone asks if you’re still friends with your ex, just say “We’re not really talking at the moment. But maybe one day!”
First, acknowledge your silence with something like, “Sorry for the silence. I just needed some time alone. ” Then, bring up something nostalgic, like, “I was just at our favorite restaurant the other day” or “I finished that TV show we started watching. ” After that, try easing into a casual conversation with something like, “I was just thinking about you. How are you?”
You can initiate this with something like “It’s really nice talking to you again. Would you ever want to meet up for coffee or a meal?” Once you’ve met and caught up for a bit, bring up the breakup by asking, “Where do you think our relationship went wrong?” Respectfully listen and respond to your ex’s opinions. More arguments won’t fix this relationship! For example, if your ex says you weren’t supportive, say, “I’m sorry. That’s something I’m really trying to work on. "
If you want to initiate the topic of getting back together, bring it up sensitively, and remember that your ex has the right to say no. If you want your ex to initiate getting back together, be prepared to let them do it at their own pace. Remember that getting back together is the beginning of something new. Don’t let whatever caused the breakup happen again!
