This can be as simple as making sure to eat dinner as a family a couple of times a week, which will allow you to catch up and feel involved in each other’s lives. If it’s not possible to physically spend more time with your parents, phone calls and Facetime are great ways to connect!
Don’t get defensive if you don’t agree with what they say. It might be hard to stay calm, but remember, they’re entitled to their own opinions.
You could say something like, “I think love is the most important part of a good marriage. It seems magical when 2 people fall in love and decide to commit to each other forever. ” You could also try explaining the issues you have with arranged marriages. Just make sure that you stay calm and respectful. You might say, “I really want to make sure I have a connection with someone before I commit to them. I don’t feel like I’d really have that chance with an arranged marriage. ”
For example, you could say, “More and more people are having inter-caste marriages. Don’t you think that’s interesting?” Remember that convincing your parents to allow an inter-caste marriage might be a lengthy process. Try to be patient and respectful of their ideas. That will be more helpful than yelling.
Your commitment to your family Your success at your job Your commitment to your faith (if applicable)
Have an honest conversation with your partner about their finances. Make sure that you are on the same page about how you will manage the money in your household.
You are fully committed to your partner. You’re confident that your partner is committed to you. You know all of the important information about their background. You have planned for your life together beyond the wedding.
If your parents are concerned about what other family members might say, you could try, “I’ll be happy to talk to everyone about my choice and explain why it works for me. That can be my responsibility. ” If they are worried that you will bring shame on your family, you could explain that times are changing and that many people are choosing love marriages now. Parents might ask, ”Why would you do this to us?” You can say something like, “This is about my feelings and my future. I’m not trying to hurt you. ”
Ask a relative you trust if they feel comfortable helping you break the news to your parents.
For example, if you’re listening to music, you could say, “Andy really loves this song!” You can also mention things you do with that person. Try, “Andy and I went out for an amazing dinner last night. You should try the new restaurant down the street!”
You could say, “I respect your traditions, but I really want to marry for love. Are you open to meeting my partner and hearing about our relationship?” Hopefully, your parents support you. If they don’t, try to have the conversation again at another time. This can be disheartening, but don’t give up right away. You might find that 1 parent seems more receptive to your relationship than the other. Take that parent aside for a private conversation and explain that you’d like their help. You could say, “I’d really appreciate it if you could support me when I bring this up to Dad. ”[11] X Research source If your parents’ voice concerns, listen respectfully. You can say, “I understand your viewpoint, but this is what feels right to me. "
Your family might be pretty upset if you take this step. Make sure that you have a plan in place for where you will live and how you will support yourself.
You can say, “I understand your feelings, but I hope you’ll reconsider. I’d love to have your support, but I don’t need your permission. ”
How kind they are to you. How well they are doing at their job. How close they are to their parents.
You can also tell them fun things, like what kind of food your parents enjoy or what they like to watch on TV.
If they ask, ”How can you be sure this is the right choice?” you can explain that you have put a lot of thought into it and explain why you want to marry your partner. Your parents might wonder what will happen if it doesn’t work out. Explain that you hope it does, but if not, you are prepared to take care of yourself. They might ask if their opinion matters. You can try, “Yes, of course, it does. That’s why I’m including you in this conversation. ”
Introduce your partner and let your parents take the lead in the conversation. It’s natural for them to want to get to know this new person.
You can set up several meetings so that everyone can start to feel comfortable with each other.
Give them time to adjust to the situation. This is a big deal, so be patient for a few months.
